Dear Men…

I assume my position, that of an inexperienced and unmarried man but one with the wisdom of Solomon King of Israel and Cyrus the Prince of Persia. As a son raised of a woman and one keen to learn through my eyes and heart, here are my two cents.

I strongly believe that a man’s position other than of authority, responsibility is twice or even more as important. I have a great admiration to men who are incharge of their own lives and of those in their lives especially their women. A good man will allow himself to work hard and be on top of his game at all costs. A good man will take risks, fail in most of them but wakes up, dusts himself up and presses on. A good man will remain optimistic even when it feels foolish to keep believing.

On women; this is our greatest task on responsibility. You would be surprised to learn on the things that interest a woman in a man. And responsibility is one such thing. It is not your looks, your money, the car you drive, the kind of house you live in, your title at work but it’s the little things that matter to them. Responsibility for their emotions tops the list.

Women give as much as they receive and when it comes well from a man, they do discounts on top of what they give back. Her security is in knowing that you’re there with her, not just for her. Her security is in the assurance of love, that you won’t stop treating her well even when she is not at her best. That you will not wake up one morning and think that she no longer is as beautiful. The flowers, coffee dates, movies soup up the relationship but it’s the commitment to it that really matters.

Ladies value honesty, even when it feels stupid for you the man. She wants to know that you’re actually in the toilet and not in the kitchen, not because she doesn’t trust you enough but to satisfy her emotional want. She will call you a million times, send you a million messages not that she is interested in blowing up your phone, but because she feels safe talking to you. She will tell her friends about you, send you those funny memes, tag you on social media, not because she is showy but because she has you in mind most of her time. She will throw tantrums at you, get mad at you not because she has started to unlove you, but because her emotional strength is anchored to you. She trusts you with her tears and fears. As a man, you ought to take this responsibility and affirm her emotional security. Be there, even when it feels safe to run.

Men, women nowadays never look for superheroes. She doesn’t expect you to fight every man who hits on her. You can be her knight in shining armour by understanding your position in her life. Why she chose you over them all. She will care enough to go up the ladder with you if only you do her right. She will be okay when you tell her that you’re broke, and surprise you sometime in support. As long as you are man enough to know her worth at all times.

Men, it is no longer cool for us to date all the girls in our villages, or workplaces, or even in the praise and worship. It never is cool for a man to subject a woman to humiliation just because she loves you. It is cool when a man owns up to his woman, takes charge of the relationship and walks his talk. It is cool when a man makes his woman the priority in a forest of many other women.

A good man waits, for his perfect woman. He doesn’t have to be in every other relationship just because he is single. Only when she comes, it’s when the world would understand why he stayed that long.

A good man, does only one woman.